Daily Productive Sharing 1220 - Stop Taking Things Personally

Nick Wignall believes that the core issue with taking things too personally is this: turning criticism of your behavior into a criticism of your character.

• If you want to stop taking things personally, you need to learn to distinguish between behavioral criticism and character criticism.
• When given and received appropriately, criticism is a wonderful thing because it promotes growth and positive change.
• To better accept criticism (without taking everything personally), practice giving yourself effective feedback—keep it specific and focused on your behavior, not your character.
• Not taking things personally doesn’t mean assuming everyone likes you.
• Not taking things personally means: not assuming others are negatively judging you as a person without evidence.
• Even in the face of negativity, I choose the life I want to live. Repeating this exercise will gradually turn it into a core belief—that you are the author and hero of your life, not a victim or side character.
• While we’re often good at reading people’s minds, it doesn’t mean we always get it right.
• However, if you can manage that initial emotional reaction better, you’re likely to avoid the entire “over-personalization” cycle.
• Emotional validation means reminding yourself: even if it feels uncomfortable, it’s okay to feel sad.

Nick Wignall 认为将事情看得太个人化的核心问题在于 – 将对你行为的批评过度扩展为对你个性的批评：

1. 如果你想停止把事情看得太个人化，你需要学会区分行为批评和人格批评。
2. 如果给予和接受得当，批评是一件非常棒的事情，因为它促进了成长和积极变化。
3. 如果你想更好地接受批评（而不是把一切都看得太个人化），练习如何对自己进行有效批评——保持批评内容具体、集中于你的行为，而不是你的人格。
4. 不把事情看得太个人化，并不意味着假设每个人都喜欢你。
5. 不把事情看得太个人化意味着：在没有证据的情况下，不假设别人把你当作一个人进行负面评价。
6. 即使面对负面情绪，我依然选择我想要的生活方式。反复做这个练习，它会逐渐成为核心信念——你是自己生活的作者和主角，而不是受害者或配角。
7. 虽然我们常常擅长揣测别人心思，但这并不意味着我们总能准确理解。
8. 然而，如果你能更好地管理那种初始的情绪反应，很可能就能避免整个“过度个人化”的循环。
9. 情感验证意味着提醒自己：即使感觉不舒服，感到难过也是可以接受的。