Daily Productive Sharing 1235 - The Worst First Dates

Dr Selfie -

One helpful tip per day:)

Alex Abad-Santos believes that the most important thing in dating is to stay curious about the person in front of you:

  1. It’s not that bad dates didn’t exist before Tinder, Bumble, or OkCupid—but these platforms aren’t as effective as they seem for building real connections.
  2. Psychologist Aleandra Solomon notes that whether it’s a first date or your 27th year of marriage, being curious about your partner’s thoughts, emotions, and daily life is key to a healthy relationship.
  3. When we assume we already know someone, we stop putting in the effort to really get to know them.
  4. And if we don’t try to understand the other person, it becomes harder to stay interested in them.
  5. Going on multiple dates with seemingly similar people through apps can quickly lead to fatigue.
  6. You can only answer questions like “favorite book” or “secret habit” so many times—no matter how different the answers are.
  7. Most dating apps allow you to filter by height, age, race, etc.—so by the time you meet, the person has already passed through a tight romantic screening process that feels like a match.
  8. In theory, this “boxed-in matching” should lead to better fits, but real human relationships don’t work that way.
  9. When you’re too familiar with your own dating patterns, it’s easy to miss red flags or repeat unhealthy choices.
  10. Solomon suggests the best opening question is: “What made your eyes light up this week?”

If you enjoy today's sharing, why not subscribe

Need a superb CV, please try our CV Consultation

Alex Abad-Santos 认为约会时最重要的是对你所见之人保持好奇：

  1. 并不是说在 Tinder、Bumble 和 OkCupid 出现之前人们不会遇到糟糕的约会，但这些平台实际上并不像看起来那样有助于真正建立连接。
  2. 心理学家 Aleandra Solomon 指出，无论是第一次约会还是婚姻的第27年，对伴侣的生活充满兴趣——包括他们的想法、情绪、日常——都是健康关系的关键。
  3. 当我们以为自己已经了解对方时，就可能不再花心思去真正认识他们。
  4. 如果我们不主动去了解对方，就越难对他们保持兴趣。
  5. 在交友应用上和多个大致相似的人进行多次约会，很容易产生疲惫感。
  6. 关于“最喜欢的书”或“暗藏的小习惯”之类的问题，你最多只能重复几次——即便每次的答案都不同。
  7. 大多数应用还允许你按照身高、年龄、种族等进行筛选。当你最终决定去见面时，对方往往已经通过了一系列严格的“浪漫筛选”，似乎预示着你们是合适的。
  8. 从理论上看，这种“框选式配对”应该能带来更完美的匹配，但人类关系并不是这样运作的。
  9. 当你太熟悉自己的交往模式时，很容易忽视危险信号，或者重复不健康的选择。
  10. Aleandra Solomon 说最好的开场问题是：“这周有什么事让你眼睛发亮？”

如果你喜欢的话，不妨直接订阅这份电子报 ⬇️