Daily Productive Sharing 1143 - The Age 30 Crisis
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Are you feeling anxious in your thirties? Rob Henderson believes this is the so-called "30s crisis"—a phase marking the end of adolescence and the true beginning of adulthood, which can bring a sense of loss:
- In early adulthood, one of the most distressing fears is that there is no life after youth, and turning 30 is often seen as being "over the hill."
- When a man first steps into the adult world, his main task is to become a novice adult and establish his life foundation.
- Men in early adulthood face two conflicting goals: on one hand, they want to keep their options open, avoid strong commitments, and maximize freedom; on the other hand, they want to build a stable life, cultivate responsibility, and achieve something meaningful, which requires significant investment.
- Being too young can make it hard to make wise decisions, but waiting too long risks missing opportunities.
- A man's sense of well-being is tied to how he perceives his progress toward his goals in terms of speed and success.
- The "boyish self" within men wishes for everything to effortlessly work in their favor. When they don’t receive the recognition they crave, they feel disappointed and humiliated.
- Life doesn’t work as people often imagine—happiness is not a permanent state.
- Accepting the guilt and pain that accompany this stage of life is crucial.
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三十多岁的你是否感到焦虑？Rob Henderson 认为这其实是三十岁危机 -- 这一阶段是青春期的终结和成人期真正的开始，这可能带来一种失落感：
- 青年早期最令人痛苦的恐惧是担心青春之后没有生活，30岁之后被认为是“走下坡路”；
- 当一个男性首次步入成年世界时，他的主要任务是成为一个初出茅庐的成年人，并建立自己的生活基础；
- 初入成人期阶段的男性面临两个相互冲突的目标：一方面，他们想保留选择的自由，避免强烈的义务并最大化选择；另一方面，他们也想建立稳定的生活，培养责任感并有所成就，这需要强烈的投入；
- 太年轻可能难以做出明智选择，但如果等待太久，又会错过机会；
- 男性对幸福感的认知取决于他自己对目标达成速度与程度的感受；
- 男性内心的“男孩自我”希望一切都顺利地偏向于自己。当他未能获得渴望的认可时，会感到失落和羞辱；
- 生活并不像人们想象的那样 -- 幸福 -- 并不是一种持续的状态；
- 接受这一人生阶段的内疚和痛苦至关重要。
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